When you hear the word assertive, do you envision someone who is loud, brash, aggressive, and overbearing? Do you equate assertiveness with selfishness and a lack of consideration for other people’s needs? 

​If your understanding of assertiveness veers towards any of these images, you’re not alone. Yet in reality, none of this depicts what assertiveness truly is.
 
Assertive behaviour isn’t about being aggressive or overbearing.  Nor is it about being selfish and self-absorbed while trampling over other people and dismissing their needs. So what is assertive behaviour, and can it really have a positive impact on your relationships?
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“[S]he squeezed the mistrust away into a corner of her mind, and blocked it up there.”  From Charles Dickens' Our Mutual Friend
 
How many times have you been in a situation and sensed within yourself that something wasn't quite right?

Your inner voice is there in the background, whispering to you gently but firmly. You get a noticeable gut feeling you can’t deny. Or perhaps you find your intuition speaking to you as if trying to convey a subtle warning. 

How many times have you dismissed that feeling and carried on anyways? And then afterwards, you find yourself saying, “I should have listened to that inner voice,” or "I should have followed my intuition," or "I should have gone with my gut."

You know the feeling. You have a decision to make and you're not sure what you should do. No matter how much you turn the situation over in your head, you can't figure out what's best. Your mind becomes muddled, confused, and overwhelmed; or you draw a complete blank. 

Here are five ways to untangle yourself from all the confusion, gain clarity, and activate forward motion when you're struggling to make a decision and the solution seems far off.

Do you ever find yourself examining the myriad pieces that come together to make up your life, searching for meaning and trying to make sense of it all as you consider how all those pieces fit together?

If so, this poem is for you. 


Fragments of Self

Scattered pieces lie on the ground
Resting still without a sound
Yet in each piece, a tale to tell
Of laughter shared or tears that fell

The information overload we're all dealing with has consequences not just for our mental and emotional health, but for our spiritual well-being as well. Much of the messaging around us pokes at our insecurities in order to sell a specific product or service as the proposed solution.

From the latest fitness trend to advice for personal branding, we're constantly being told that we need to be doing more. Amidst this steady pursuit of self-improvement, it’s easy to become distracted by outward appearances, and overly concerned with how you’re being viewed by others. Meanwhile on the inside, you feel drained, confused, and unfocused, pulled in different directions as your priorities become muddled. After a while, you start to experience a growing sense of disorientation, destabilization, and disturbance, an inner signal that you’re becoming spiritually disconnected.
 
A key step for staying grounded and focused spiritually is managing the information you take in; knowing when to take a break from social media or turn off devices altogether. Pausing the information flow creates space for reflection without all the external noise, so you can refocus spiritually in a meaningful way. Within that calmer, quieter space, here are seven ways to deepen and enrich the process of regaining spiritual strength and focus.

Your feelings serve as an amazing and powerful communication system designed to guide and protect you. While you don't want to be trapped, controlled, or incapacitated by your feelings, you do want to be aware of them and cognizant of what you're experiencing at any given time.

That awareness enables you to assess what's going on in your life and what your feelings are alerting you to, so you can choose how best to respond. 
 
As you strive to become more attuned to your feelings, here are seven feelings you should never ignore.

The overthinking trap: you go back and forth endlessly as you struggle to make a big decision (or perhaps even a not-so-big one). You weigh your options trying to find the best course of action, but instead of making progress, you wind up right back where you started.
 
It's easy to start overthinking when you're aiming for a perfect decision that guarantees everything goes exactly as planned. But given the complexity of life with all its twists and turns, you never know when or how something unexpected might come along and throw things off. At the same time, decisions carry real consequences that can be far-reaching and long-lasting, so it’s worth investing time and care to make the best decisions possible. 

Here are five tips to help you find that healthy middle ground: sound decisions without falling into the trap of overthinking.

Helpful life hacks are everywhere — but are they really helpful?  The danger of the “hack mentality” is that it promises quick success without the investment of time and effort. But real success is rarely easy and rarely happens overnight.
 
So what’s the secret to making progress on the road to success, even when the way gets tough and you’re tempted to abandon your efforts? Instead of chasing shortcuts and hacks, stay grounded over the long term by internalizing these three foundational truths.

We're all familiar with the idyllic image of a family sitting around the dinner table, the atmosphere filled with love, laughter, and joyful conversation. There are times, however, when reality falls short of that image, painfully so in some cases.

This short little vignette presents an alternative scene many people can relate to. Who do you envision sitting around the table being described?

Silence. They sit at the table in silence.

Together, but separate. Inches away from one another, close enough to touch, yet miles apart, occupying different worlds.

Is change good, bad, or something else entirely?

Looking back on some of the major changes in your life, there were probably times when you welcomed change with open arms, eager to discover whatever lay ahead. There have also likely been occasions when instead of welcoming change, you resisted and ran from it — even when you knew change of some sort was unavoidable or perhaps very much needed.

Part of what makes change so unnerving is its inherent unpredictability. Even a minor change in life can be an intense experience that destabilizes us and leaves us feeling disoriented. No matter how much you try to plan and prepare for it, change has the potential to wind up encompassing more than you bargained for.

The following excerpt vividly captures that intensity and that element of the unexpected which change inherently possesses: