 It's wonderful when someone can provide a safe haven for another, and the following poem expresses this concept simply and beautifully. As you read, I encourage you to take time to reflect on the sentiments expressed.
How do the images come to life in your mind? Do you find yourself thinking about specific people in your life, or recalling those special times when someone's love and support served as a safe haven for you? Or perhaps you're going through a period where you're longing for that "hand to clasp" as you go through the ups and downs of life. If so, I hope this poem inspires you to extend your own hand, with faith and confidence that the gesture will help guide the way towards what you're looking for. Safe Haven by Leilani Biswas (reprinted with permission) A ray of sun to illuminate the way Clear the shadows and fears allay A tropical breeze to warm the air Displace the chill that lingers there A shoulder to lean on when times get rough Just being there is comfort enough An ear to listen with concern and care A safe, secure haven for a heart laid bare A hand to clasp on a bumpy road Share a laugh, share the load A soul to connect with outside space and time Transforming the mundane into the sublime
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 "Do your own thing and stop caring about what others think." You've likely read or heard this sentiment at some point, if not many times. But is this sound advice? Do you benefit by living your life with no concern or regard for what other people think?
Despite being well-intentioned, when taken literally or at face value, this sentiment overlooks the reality of who we are as human beings, how we function, and what it takes to maintain healthy, harmonious relationships.  "The purpose of your life is not to do as the majority does, but to live according to the inner law which you understand in yourself."
Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and Philosopher Peer pressure among youth is always a concern, and with good reason. It leads to poor decisions, extreme risk-taking, and in some cases, tragic outcomes. But peer pressure isn’t just a youth problem; it’s very much an adult problem too. As an adult, the pressure probably won’t be in the form of external taunts and dares. It's far more likely to be self-inflicted, stemming from your own self-imposed judgments.  The dictionary defines aura as "a distinctive atmosphere surrounding a given source." When we describe the aura surrounding someone, we're typically referring to the atmosphere surrounding the person and the energy the person gives off.
For instance, we describe someone as having a peaceful aura when we perceive an atmosphere of tranquility and calmness around them. Just as every person possesses a unique aura that radiates from them, we can think of every relationship as having its own unique aura as well.  There are likely plenty of occasions where you choose to go out of your way for someone you care about. It's a choice you make willingly, and you feel good about it. But what about those times when it's not so much that you're willing, and more that you feel pushed, coerced, obligated, or motivated by guilt?
If you've ever been pressured into going along with a situation you weren't entirely comfortable with to accommodate someone else's priorities, you know how unpleasant it is both in the moment and afterwards. Depending on the circumstances, you may have been left feeling slightly uneasy, extremely uncomfortable, or perhaps completely overwhelmed. If it happens repeatedly, you're liable to wind up feeling frustrated and resentful.  It feels good to do good. When you give of yourself, it benefits you as much as it does the person on the receiving end, often times even more so. You feel energized in your body and fulfilled in your soul.
Plus, you never know the ripple effect your actions will have. The smallest and simplest action you take can have far-reaching and lasting impact, beyond anything you could have foreseen or anticipated. Here are five simple ways you can give of yourself to uplift others.  If you’re committed to personal growth, you’ll be changing and evolving throughout the course of your life. As you change inwardly, your outward behaviours will change as a result. As you change your habits and outward behaviours, this will lead to inner changes.
At some point, these changes will have an impact on your relationships. While this impact may be subtle at times, it may be quite dramatic in some cases.  Resilience: the ability to withstand difficulties and bounce back from setbacks. It goes without saying that resilience is a valuable trait to have as you move through life. But how exactly do you become more resilient?
Is building resilience a solo endeavour? Is it simply a matter of toughening up so you can weather life’s storms without crumbling and falling apart?  There’s a common misconception that being assertive means being loud, brash, and aggressive. In other words, the type of person who blows through a room like a hurricane and leaves a trail of destruction behind.
In reality, that’s not what assertiveness is at all. Assertive behaviour isn’t about being aggressive or overbearing. Nor is it about trampling over other people and dismissing their needs.  Even the best of friendships can encounter a bit of turbulence from time to time. From feeling ignored and neglected, to feeling offended or taken advantage of, there are all kinds of issues that can crop up to sour a friendship.
Once feelings are hurt and emotions are running high, you may be tempted to call it quits and walk away from the friendship altogether. This is precisely when you need to hit the pause button and take time to reflect, so you don’t make a decision you later regret. As you reflect, here are some questions to ask yourself before you cast a friendship aside. |
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