Why You're Encountering Resistance and How to Resolve It

We've all been there at one time or another.  You want to move forward with your plans, but something is holding you back.  You might be struggling to identify exactly what it is and where it's coming from.  But it's there, that nagging feeling of being unsettled that's keeping you from going full steam ahead. 
 
What you're encountering is resistance.  It may be frustrating and confusing while you're experiencing it, but it's actually a really good thing!  It's an important safety mechanism; you're being alerted that things aren't quite lining up the way they need to.  The next step?  Taking a closer look to determine why things aren't lining up.
 
There are an infinite number of reasons why you may be encountering resistance; here are 3 of the most common ones.

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1. You're missing important or relevant information.

Joanne is excited about going on her first solo trip to Europe, so she can't understand why she's feeling hesitant.  She starts communicating with other solo travelers in an online forum.  Based on their input, she realizes she doesn't have all her required documentation.  Armed with this information, Joanne takes steps to get the missing documentation.  Once everything is in place, her hesitancy dissipates and she feels great about finalizing her plans.
 
As in Joanne's case, resistance is sometimes a warning that all the pieces of the puzzle aren't in place; that you're missing important or relevant information.  Slow down, back up, and take some time to seek out additional information or the relevant resources.  Once you're properly equipped for what lies ahead of you, you'll find that the resistance you were initially feeling resolves itself, and you'll feel secure and confident about moving forward.

 
2. You're conflicted between what you “should” do vs. what you really “want” to do.

Perhaps you can provide a long list of reasons why you should go ahead and do something.  You can offer compelling arguments for why it's a great move.  But in spite of that long list of reasons and all those compelling arguments, something is holding you back.  What's going on?  The resistance you're feeling may be an indication that you're choosing a course of action because you think it's the right thing to do, even though it's not what you genuinely want. 

For the most part, we all want to do the right thing.  While this is generally a great principle to operate by, we can find ourselves battling between what we think we “should” do and what we truly “want” to do.  This battle can become quite intense at times, with the line between “should” and “want” becoming increasingly blurred. 
 
During these times, that resistance that you feel is a powerful wake-up call that something isn't quite right.   By exploring those feelings of resistance and doing some deep and honest soul-searching, you can gain clarity around what's going on, where the conflict is coming from, and what it is that you truly do want.

3. Other people are projecting their values and priorities onto you.

At some point in our lives, we've all had to deal with other people projecting their values and priorities onto us.  This can be a challenging situation, especially when you're dealing with loved ones or people you're close to whom you don't want to upset or disappoint.  However, if we're not careful, we can find ourselves being sent down a path that reflects someone else's dreams rather than our own.

It doesn't matter how great other people feel about a particular decision or course of action.  If it doesn't align with your values and priorities, you're not going to feel great about it, and you're bound to encounter some inner resistance.  The last thing you want to do is ignore that resistance and move forward anyways, as there's a good chance you'll feel resentful afterwards.

Ultimately, you are responsible for your life and the decisions that you make.  Taking a stand and refusing to comply with someone else's agenda might lead to some friction and ruffled feathers in the short term.  However, ignoring your own values and priorities for the sake of others can lead to enormous regret in the long run.

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