 People are constantly setting all kinds of goals; that's the easy part. But when it comes time to follow through on those goals, that's the stage where they often get stuck. Even with the best of intentions and a sincere effort, you may feel like you're fighting an uphill battle as you struggle to see your goal through to completion. The inability to successfully reach a desired goal isn't just frustrating and disheartening. It can lead to a loss of confidence, making you shrink back from pursuing other goals in future. But what if the problem isn't you? What if the problem isn't some inherent shortcoming on your part, but rather you simply haven't found the right approach for pursuing your goal? When pursuing any goal, your starting place matters. Regardless of the goal you're pursuing, your starting place matters. For example, imagine you've signed up for swimming lessons, but you're suffering from extreme anxiety due to a near-drowning incident you experienced as a child. With that frightening incident always being top of mind, merely stepping into the pool and standing in the water feels daunting. With this as your starting place, you'll naturally need adequate time, along with extra patience and support, in order to feel comfortable and safe in the water. If you have an inexperienced or impatient swim instructor pushing you too far before you're ready, this could easily make matters worse. Instead of steadily progressing and gaining confidence, you might find find yourself becoming even more nervous and tense in the water. Rather than feeling hopeful and optimistic about your goal to learn how to swim, the struggle increases. Your goal seems even further out of reach than before, perhaps even impossible.  Now, let's contrast that scenario with the following one: you receive lessons from an experienced instructor who has been trained to work specifically with people who are afraid of water. Along with slowing down the pace and being patient, this instructor knows how to employ specific strategies to increase your comfort level and sense of safety in the water.
The end result? You find yourself relaxing, even enjoying yourself and having fun! As your confidence in the water grows, your former anxiety lessens. Learning how to swim has gone from a terrifying experience to an enjoyable and rewarding one. The right approach is often the difference between success and failure. Whether your goal is learning how to swim, changing your diet, overcoming a bad habit, improving your photography skills, or anything else you have in mind, the right approach matters—it's often the difference between success and failure. What happens when you're faithfully investing time and effort, but the approach you're taking isn't quite right for you? Progress slows down (possibly even coming to a complete halt) and the struggle wears you down. When you don't see the results you're hoping for, discouragement sets in. Your sense of agency and self-efficacy—the belief that you're capable of consciously and deliberately making changes in your life through your actions—may take a hit. Left unchecked, insecurity can take root and self-doubt can grow. The more you blame yourself, the more you lose confidence and spiral downwards. This isn't a happy or healthy state to be in, especially when it starts to impact other areas of your life. Instead of blaming yourself and giving up, try a different approach. If you've been attempting to work on something or pursuing a goal without success, you may be at the point where you're feeling discouraged and disheartened. You may find yourself losing confidence, questioning your abilities, and perhaps even asking yourself, "Why bother trying? What's the use?" Don't throw in the towel just yet! Consider that you may simply need to switch to a different approach that's better suited to your needs. Instead of blaming yourself and giving up on your goal, try giving things another go but with a different approach. Seek out new information, methods, tools, strategies, and support that recognize your needs, respect your starting place, and leverage your strengths. This one change may be just what you need to turn things around in order to get the results you're looking for. Image Credit: Angela Marks from Pixabay Comments are closed.
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