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Avoid Self-Imposed Limits That Stifle Growth, Maturity, and Wisdom

9/3/2024

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There's a general assumption that as we get older, we grow in our maturity and wisdom.  After all, with all that life experience under your belt, how could you not become wiser and more mature?  But age alone is not synonymous with growth, maturity, and wisdom. 

Just as you've probably met someone who seemed incredibly mature for their age, you've likely also met someone whose age clearly hadn't conferred the level of maturity and wisdom you would have expected.
 
Life experience on its own is no guarantee of maturity and wisdom; it's what you do throughout your life that matters.  Maturity and wisdom go hand in hand with growth.  When you allow yourself to become more receptive to growth in your life, you lay the groundwork for maturity and wisdom to follow.  Therefore, it makes sense to guard against self-imposed limits that stifle your growth.  

Here are some common self-imposed limits to watch out for.


1. Don't limit yourself by reducing yourself to a label.

Are you quick to label yourself in terms of your personality and/or identity?  Are you retaining the same labels you've had for years?  Labels which may have been bestowed upon you by others who lacked a comprehensive understanding of who you were and your capabilities? If so, it’s time for a self-check. Are those labels valid? Do they truly apply to you in the here and now? How well are they serving you?  Are they propelling you forward, or holding you back?    

For example, let's say you label yourself as having no musical talent based on early childhood experiences you had.  Maintaining that label might dissuade you from taking up a musical instrument later in life, even though with some discipline and hard work, you have the potential to achieve a decent level of proficiency.  By allowing a misguided label to prevent you from exploring something new, you’re depriving yourself of a potential source of enjoyment and fulfillment.


2.  Don't limit who you communicate with.

The vast majority of people tend to develop their closest relationships with people who are similar to them and like-minded.  This is understandable — after all, communication and connection are much easier, and conflict is reduced, when everyone is viewing things the same way and there’s widespread agreement.

There's no need to overhaul your close inner circle, but open yourself up to communicating with people from other walks of life.  As you hear new ideas and fresh perspectives from people whose lives are significantly different from your own, you'll gain the immense benefit of growing in your understanding of the world and how it works.  
 

3.  Don't limit your knowledge base.

Learning doesn't have to stop when you leave school.  Seize opportunities to learn new things over the course of our life.  Learning is enjoyable, it makes you a more interesting person, and it helps keep your mind nimble and sharp as you get older.  With a broader and deeper store of knowledge to draw on, you're better equipped to assess situations and make wise decisions.

Note that learning doesn’t have to occur solely in an educational setting.  There are countless ways we can learn throughout life including books, online resources, and even just listening to others as they share about things we’re unfamiliar with.


4.  Don't limit yourself by refusing to learn from the past.

We've all made mistakes and done things we regret.  Much as we may want to, we can't go back and undo anything from our past. That can be a difficult reality to face, especially when harm has resulted.  It’s easy to start beating yourself up over the past, and many people find it hard to forgive themselves.

Rather than berating yourself for those past mistakes, make a conscious decision to learn from them.  Examine what happened, how and why it happened, and identify what you can do differently in future to avoid repeating the same mistakes again.  This is the secret to growing, maturing, and becoming better, rather than just becoming trapped by the past or bitter.

 
5.  Don't limit the ideas and perspectives you explore.

You don't need to give up your convictions or go along with the latest fad, and you don't need to agree with every opinion that’s presented to you.  However, a fixed, rigid, narrow mindset where you're convinced that you're 100% right, 100% of the time, doesn't allow for growth.  

Find that healthy balance where you have your own beliefs, standards, and convictions; but you also have the capacity to explore other ideas and perspectives.  It's a very big world, and you might be surprised at where you’re able to pick up a valuable insight or nugget of wisdom you can benefit from.

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