How to Stop Overthinking and Trust Yourself When Making Decisions

The overthinking trap: you go back and forth endlessly as you struggle to make a big decision (or perhaps even a not-so-big one). You weigh your options trying to find the best course of action, but instead of making progress, you wind up right back where you started.
 
It's easy to start overthinking when you're aiming for a perfect decision that guarantees everything goes exactly as planned. But given the complexity of life with all its twists and turns, you never know when or how something unexpected might come along and throw things off. At the same time, decisions carry real consequences that can be far-reaching and long-lasting, so it’s worth investing time and care to make the best decisions possible. 

Here are five tips to help you find that healthy middle ground: sound decisions without falling into the trap of overthinking.

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1. Gain clarity by writing things out.

Instead of ruminating over a decision endlessly in your head, gain clarity by getting things down on paper. The process of writing things down, and then being able to see everything laid out in writing, offers an alternative perspective which often leads to fresh insights.
 
Are you considering multiple options and struggling to determine which is best? Start by writing all the options down. Next, identify key criteria you know you need to take into account when making your decision, and rate each option based on those criteria. This breaks the overthinking loop by giving you something concrete to focus on. Bonus: rating the options helps you look at them more objectively. 

You might find that even though you gave a particular option the highest rating, you don’t feel completely at ease going with it. That’s okay! Explore things further by writing about how you feel and what your reservations are. Once again, the process of writing will keep you moving forward and making headway, so you don’t get stuck in that dreaded overthinking loop.


2. Revisit your beliefs and assumptions. 

Often when we're stuck spinning our wheels and overthinking, it's because we're being limited by beliefs and assumptions which aren't necessarily true. Those beliefs and assumptions act like constraints, preventing us from seeing a broader range of options and opportunities.

When you find yourself overthinking, try taking a step back and consider the underlying beliefs and assumptions you're operating by. For instance, notice where you're telling yourself, “I have to..." or “I can't..." or “That won't work..." or “That's not possible..." Ask yourself where those beliefs are coming from, and reassess whether those assumptions are valid. 

This one step has the power to shift the entire decision-making terrain, making it much easier for you to get unstuck and move forward.
 

3. Don't try to predict the future.

We've all heard the familiar adage look before you leap. It makes sense to take some time to look ahead before taking action, as doing so can help you avoid costly mistakes. But even with looking ahead, the fact remains: you can’t predict the future; everyone's life is filled with a few surprises. An essential part of getting through life is learning how to deal with these unexpected surprises when they come your way.
 
When faced with a decision, especially an important one, it’s tempting to want to look into the future and visualize how things will play out. But trying to envision every possible scenario imaginable almost always leads to overthinking.

Ultimately, all you can do is make the best decision you’re capable of based on the information you have to work with in the present. No matter what you decide, accept that you never know when or how you might get hit with a curve ball you didn’t see coming. Have faith in yourself that when the future arrives, you’ll find a way to deal with it.

4. Recognize when some fallout is inevitable.

Are you looking for an easy solution to a challenging situation?  Are you trying to please everyone around you in hopes you don’t ruffle any feathers?  Are you aiming for a tidy, happy ending even though deep down, you know that isn’t realistic under the circumstances? 
 
Life can be messy and complicated at times. That means there are bound to be occasions where any decision you make will have some negative consequences or fallout. For instance:

• Moving in a particular direction might require making some sacrifices.
• Pursuing a desired opportunity might mean closing the door on another one.
• Choosing the course of action you think is best might mean someone close to you is disappointed, hurt, or upset by your decision.
• Making certain changes in your life might not be well-received by people close to you, who would prefer that everything — including you — remain the same. 

 
Attempting to avoid the inevitable is one of the surest ways to fall into the trap of overthinking. Be honest with yourself and recognize when you do indeed know exactly what you need to do, but you’re reluctant to do it because it comes with a cost.


5. Get clear on your values.

One of the best ways to avoid overthinking is by getting clear on your values. Your values keep you grounded and serve as important guideposts as you navigate through the decision-making process.
 
If you’re struggling with overthinking as you try to make a decision, set the decision aside for a moment and focus on your values instead:

• What is most important to you?
• What do you prioritize above all else? 
• What are your non-negotiables?
• Where are your boundaries? 

 
Once you’re clear on your values, you’re no longer operating based on passing feelings, a whim, someone else’s wishes, or some other random element. You’ll be far less susceptible to overthinking and far more confident in arriving at a decision that aligns with who you are and your life as a whole. 


Conclusion

The aforementioned tips won't necessarily make decision-making easy. But they'll help you escape patterns of overthinking, while enabling you to have greater confidence and self-trust in how you manage the decision-making process.

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