"Just as one candle lights another and can light thousands of others, so one heart illuminates another heart and can illuminate thousands of hearts.” Leo Tolstoy Imagine one heart after another being illuminated! The next time you find yourself hesitating to offer an encouraging word, or debating whether or not to perform that good deed, remember: your small gesture, no matter how small, truly can make a difference. "I was wrong." The actual words aren't complicated, so why are they so hard to say? The reality is that many people find it extremely difficult to say these words. Most of us have encountered someone who will never admit to being wrong. Many of us are that person, even if just in one particular area of our life. Most of us don't struggle with generic expressions of error, like "Nobody is perfect," or "Everyone makes mistakes." While both of these statements are true, they're also detached and impersonal. They describe people in general, not ourselves as individuals. You can hide behind these statements without ever taking personal responsibility for your actions. Whereas explicitly stating "I was wrong" is different You may have seen this sentiment posted online, printed on a coffee mug, or displayed on a wall plaque: do your own thing and stop caring about what others think. But do you really benefit by living your life with no concern or regard for what others think? Is this really healthy, liberating, and beneficial? While well-intentioned, this sentiment (if taken at face-value) overlooks the reality of who we are as human beings and how we function. A host of factors, from busy schedules to geographical distance, can make it difficult for people to connect with one another in a meaningful way. Amidst continual promises to connect some time in future, people are often left feeling disconnected, isolated, and lonely in the present. Under these conditions, the offer of time and a listening ear has tremendous value. If you have the capacity to listen attentively to others, you have a special gift to contribute. But are there some occasions when you should reconsider your willingness to listen? Absolutely. If you find yourself in any of the following situations, you may wish to pause and reconsider whether listening is the best thing you can do The current Covid-19 pandemic has given us plenty to be concerned about. Against a backdrop of daily virus-related deaths being reported, health and safety is top of mind for everyone. As the economy takes a hit, financial woes are escalating. Huge swaths of the population are unsure of their future job status. If that all wasn’t enough, we're also facing the challenge of how to maintain friendships through the pandemic. The complexity of the situation is increasingly having a polarizing effect and putting people at odds with one another. As nerves are frayed, friendships are being strained and even terminated. Here are 7 strategies to help you keep your friendships intact during this pandemic, or any other trying time that leads to highly polarized viewpoints. Finding love is challenging at any age, but there are additional hurdles to get over when you're over 40. Past experiences can leave you jaded and guarded; the fear of being hurt again causes you to put a wall up to protect yourself yourself. Or, the fear of being alone can make you more susceptible to getting into unhealthy situations where you give too much and get taken advantage of. Throw in all the emotional baggage that everyone is carrying around, and that creates even more challenges and complications to wade through. In spite of all the hurdles, it's still possible to find love later in life. Here are 5 things that will help you to build a healthy, lasting relationship. Many of us react negatively when our needs aren't met in a relationship. Whether we're dealing with a friend, family member, or spouse, we tend to assume that the other party knows exactly what we need — or that they ought to know. Working from that premise, when our needs go unmet, our next assumption tends to be that the person we're dealing with is lazy, selfish, inconsiderate, or simply doesn't care about us. Having arrived at such a conclusion, it's easy to start feeling annoyed, frustrated, and/or hurt. Left unchecked, these feelings can grow into deep-seated anger and resentment. It doesn't take much for life to start getting busy, perhaps a little too busy. You've got things to do, deadlines to meet, and you feel like you're being pulled in different directions as you try to accommodate everyone's wishes. You're doing so much, and yet the stuff you would really like to be doing winds up falling by the wayside. This is so common, it's almost more of a surprise to come across someone who isn't stressed and overwhelmed by everything they have going on. The sad reality is that far too many people find themselves in a place where they're busy catering to everyone else's needs, meanwhile they struggle with recognizing and attending to their own needs. You have your goals in front of you. You're motivated, you're committed, and you're determined to see things through successfully. And then it happens: you start running into obstacles along the way. You become distracted and start to lose focus. What's going on, and how can you fix it? Oftentimes, those obstacles that crop up stem from some sort of relationship conflict in our life. Once you identify the source of the conflict that's getting in your way, you can take steps to resolve it. You can then get refocused on your goals with renewed energy, pressing on to achieve your desired outcome. How do these relationship conflicts arise? Consider the following scenario: As outlined in Part 1, making friends often becomes more challenging as we get older. We typically aren't meeting as many new people as we used to when we were younger. And when we do meet new people, a wide range of circumstances and factors can make it difficult to move past small talk in order to form a lasting connection. There's no question that good friendships tend to involve some elements that we have little control over, like chemistry, luck, and timing. However, with increased awareness and some effort, it's possible to improve the odds of making connections and building friendships – even at a later stage in life. Continuing on from Part 1, here are some more tips to help you navigate this area successfully. |
Categories
All
|